#i truly dont know what this is but its fine
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sometimes i wish i was one of those artist that make people go "this is a PAINTING???" or "with WHAT programm/medium???" but its just not what i can do or find fun :/
#ganondoodles talks#personal#not really for the attention thing but more for .. work being recognized?#im not sure#to feel more like people actually stop and look at sth instead of skipping over it?#maybe its jsut an internet phenomena(?)#like the way everything is just consumed within seconds and never lasts long and if you miss the trend you are irrelevant#the sort of weird pressure to have to subvert expectations or be exceptionally exceptional just to be recognized ?#(which i know isnt always a good thing lol)#also this isnt a complaint per se more like a thought#like i sometimes wish i was into the popular characters instead of the niche ones etc#that kind of thing#also like i wish i could make art that really speaks to people .. like those that are just so .. interesting and strange and poetic#bc (while i know fanart and silly oc projects arent worhtless) those feel more worthwhile? more worth really being called art?#for soemthing to be truly art it should be either exceptionally skilled or profound like the greatest poets?#im just doing whatever my brain allows me to do- which i know is fine#but i also dont think its inherently wrong to wish for being more than that sometimes#(... maybe its mostly just loneliness without knowing how to find friends)#(especially where i am and especially as i just want a friend to live with - not a partner... i dont want to be this alone forever ...)#(actually ....... what if all my art self consciousness comes from wanting to feel less lonely .. oh dear- no time to unpack that omg)
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>be me >8 years old >know killing people is wrong >know the military kills people >wonder why everyones so obsessed with how honorable it is to be in the military is and how brave soldiers are when they literally kill people
>be me >21 years old >still wondering this
#text#Ever since i was a little boy i knew i didnt like needless violence and death#And like. if u put a gun in my hand pointed at a random person and said Kill this person and you get free college#i would say. No what the fuck is wrong with you#killing people is bad sorry like there's a LOT more to go into with it but nobody has answered my question from when i was 8#about why its seen as so respectable and honorable to go Fight For Our Country by killing innocent people in the global south#in a way that doesnt seem like they dont see them as People.#I truly dont know at what point of my life i was supposed to go Waitttt maybe killing people is fine if the government says its ok#whatever though what do i know#thats my opinion for the day hope everyone enjoyed make sure to hit the like and subscribe button for a free iphone 4
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"Seungmin would be SO hot if he got muscle like, can you imagine?" You would be hotter if you shut your mouth but we can't always get what we want so <3
#the amount of times ive seen this exact comment or sentiment over the past 6ish months in particular#truly pissing me off <3#like first things first- hes already handsome so if you dont see that... its fine. we all have different tastes but also be quiet <3#but like we know first hand from him that he isnt particularly interested in the gym and working out#hes not a changbin. its not his thing- he goes to keep up stamina for live shows#and the fact hes been very specific in saying so any time anyone mentions him working out and going to the gym is so like......#its kinda obvious that hes doing a polite 'please dont hassle me about getting bigger' so he makes sure to always go Its For Endurance#and yet i still see this and also. um theres other members who are muscley so why does seungmin also have to follow that route?#like if you want muscle theres people you can go look at... but also half these people cant even identify actual healthy muscle#vs. someone being so skinny that they have no fat on them and somehow think thats real muscle so like lol#its been so specifically the past half a year tho like whats that about why#its really one of those be quiet im so tired#well on the otherhand i was so stressed about my doctors appointment but now annoyance took the worries place so 🤷♀️#like its funny how X should lose weight comments are recognised for being shitty but the 'x should totally change his physique' is chill tho#like if seungmin organically of his own accord ever becomes a muscle bro bc /he/ wants that than for sure i'll be like Woo go seungmin !!#but only if he wants it. not the fans being annoying not bc of staff or beauty standards not bc of the other guys
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i have nothing of substance to say in this caption
epicer version under cut
#my post#borderlands#artstuff#jakobs family values#shitpost#hammerwright al fine jakobslock#< it feels wrong tagging this guy here even tho its Him#because a part of me fears someone doesnt want spoilers . for things i havent written yet#but idk lmfao#im not big enough to deserve my own spoiler tags yet#and the hammerwright brainrot is truly eternal#then again even if you dont know of the strangers identity through my blog then. the foreshadowing in what ive written so far should be.#more than enough lolmao#bl3
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this is completely out of nowhere but i think i will be old and gray and it will be pkmn gen 79 and i will still be sitting there in my probable rocking chair saying "oh i cant wait until they make a pokemon special anime"
#man................#it would be so cool#but alas#god fucking imagine tho#this is brought to you by im listening to pkspe vocaloid parodies again#ive tried and failed typing parodies so many times it looks fake to me#michi tag#i dont actually know how many gens they could conceivably make in an average lifespan with the rate theyre turning them out#i think 79 is too many#but its for the bit so its fine#anyways the specific video i was listening to was cocohood + another#love that song#original and pksp version#and i got to thinking abt how batshit the rs chapter was and sapphire and ruby specifically#theyre relationship is like that one reddit comment#that was like ur just enabling each other ur perfect never change just dont inflict urselves on anyone else#except they make their issues everyones issues#i used to be really into uh#damn whats the shipname#omg i used to know all the ship names and i do i swear i just forgot theirs?????#it was something real stupid too#FRANTICSHIPPING#back when ship names were like that lmaooo#oh i hope this doesnt get maintagged oops#ANYWAYS i used to be really into them? but as i got older i was like :/#like truly it was mostly bc they were the only canon couple but also rubys like. EVWRYTHING was so irritating like bestie whatee you doing 😭#anyways where was ingoing with this? good question i dont know <3
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what if i lost the will to live like. as a joke. what then.
#i am fine ftr im just. exhausted haha#NOT to overshare about my personal life too much but my dog is dying. my horse is being given back to his og owner this summer / fall.#my dads kicking me out in two years (in favor of his girlfriend and her kids bc he would rather live w them!!!)#his alcoholism is driving me crazy bc hes treating me like absolute shit and berating me constantly#and stealing from me 🙃#ive lost my healthcare benefits + now have to either raw dog therapy out of pocket or loose my therapist#a therapist that took me a year of being on a waiting list to get in w btw#and idk i just genuinely feel like a loser rn like. im a 23 year old unemployed fat virgin who plays video games all day like. 🧍#where is this going for me. what is the point of it all. in two years im going to be fucking homeless on top of all that#unless some miracle happens bc as is i am too disabled to work.#im just reaching a point where i deeply dont care anymore. whatever happens happens im done fighting it#and ik its the abandonment issues talking here but knowing my dad is planning on abandoning me. 👍#thats two for two on parents leaving me. my entire family has at this point so like truly i cant trust any relationship#like if my PARENTS find me that unbearable. and my best friend who knew me my entire life thought so. then truly every relationship#i ever have is on a fucking timer like. idk if any besties r reading this im sorry i promise this is in no way a dig at yall#bc you guys do really make me feel loved and secure in a way no one else has but. id be lying if i said i wasnt still scared#anyways enough oversharing#i really am fine and safe rn btw like. at minimum u guys r stuck w me until arc*ne season 2 comes out 😂#my post
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anons crazy 4 this one im not sorry. like truly calling it a ZERO out of TEN arc. u must be crazy im not sorry
#listen im a ctommy swords and shields and i dont Love how he's portrayed in a lot of fanon#but the idea that it made the server WORSE. and that it was a 0/10 arc is act crazy . like truly the exile arc was gen really great like i#gen think it was . so well done#also to say that it wasn't worth the discourse surrounding it.#girl its minecraft roleplay. theres gonna be stupid discourse no matter what. like truly#name one arc or even one singular at least mildly popular server that doesn't have stupid asf discourse#like OBVIOUSLY people were dumb about it. that doesnt mean it shouldnt exist.#like the idea of saying that a huge narrative arc shouldnt exist because some audience members couldnt handle it correctly.#like okay sure lets never talk abt anything even remotely nuanced ever again in media. that will fix it.#like ofc some people handled the exile arc poorly. people can't even handle rose quartz#.hellwurld#dsmp#tommyinnit#exile arc#discourse#maybe#idk#im not saying that anon is stupid btw im just saying that im smarter /JOKE.#whatever its the dsmp its fandom its fine that we have differing opinions just know that im right and youre wrong
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who made the mtt. and no i dont mean like who made the CONCEPT of the murder time trio (because i know who that is. touken kamui i thank you for the fangame every day :3) but like,,,, who decided to just randomly pair these 3 together?? like whaaaat.......
part of me wants to believe it was rahafwabas with the whole bad sanses group thingy being made with those 3 in there and then like. the fangame just gave them specifically a seperate group name. but STILL,,,,, where did this trio come from
#so rain of dust got a reboot a couple of months ago and now triple the insanity did too#and my newest favorite detail in the video is that theres a section where dust and killer's sprites are#glitching out. wanna know why??? BECAUSE HORROR GOT DELETED MTT BETTA THEY ALWAYS TOGETHER#insanity is just a horror replacement i fear i dont understand at all why he's even in the trio#WHY IS IT A TRIO. IF THERE'S A SUPPOSED FOURTH. THATS A SQUAD BRO#istg he was just added there for like shock factor or smth bc horror wasn't powerful enough to keep up#it saddens me so much to have him here but also that means it saddens kist as well :3#and killer and dust's sprites are red while insanity's is purple#YOU WILL NEVER BE HIM INSANITY!!!! YOU WILL NEVER BE HORROR I FEAR#idc what anyone says idc how many people shit on the mtt fangsme concept i LOVE IT#its like one of the few mtt content i get that doesnt involve nightmare#like. ok. bad sanses cool. i however could not give two shits about the oil monstrosity and cross#please i need my own little seperate island to myself where only i get to enjoy the mtt reboot songs#cycle of endless death against a common foe. they HAVE to learn how to work together no matter what#its not like they can just give up (looking at you horror) because the human will keep on killing again and again#waaait waaaaait in an mtt fangame dynamic horror would also experience the genocides :3 awww shared truama :3#isnt it so badass that horror literally had to get DELETED because he couldnt die and therefore the human got mad#ok fine maybe im glad theres at least a reason my boy got removed from the trio but still#the human can kill dust and killer as many times as they want. the other two will keep trying to stop them bc of dt#but horror CANT die. theres no fun in that. and one day he'll just give up. that's not amusing at all#i find it nice. a cute little parallel between the 3 :3 now horror gets his own personal genocidal human experience#man the mtt fangame human is smart asf like. DAMN. i forgot bro could just erase the trio#anyways i think that it's a good concept IDC. why are they stuck in the endless loop of human kill human reset? idk lemme check#i forgot that gaster was involved in this fuckass au LMAO but at least he's not THAT involved. more like a background character#the satsujinki was created only for murder. does it have any other thoughts? any other wants and needs? i love it so much my baby#and then the phase after that just consists of my trio emptily operating off the faintest instincts they have#after all this time spent together fighting do they not instinctually long for eachother?#me imagining these empty husks to hold hands and hug. as if theyd only truly be able to coexist peacefully with their minds lost#but at least theyre together. at least theyre always together forever :3 even if they don't know anything else#tricule rant
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Any other asexuals out there have days where it hits you what it means that you’re ace and absolutely a minority? Like. You’re defined by the absence of something meaning OTHER PEOPLE’S BODIES ACTUALLY WORK LIKE THAT. WTF I DO NOT UNDERSTAND?!?!?!
Like wow I really truly honestly do NOT feel sexual attraction and never have like what the FUCK
#like I DO but I ALSO REALLY REALLT DONT YA KNOW#this has been an ace breakdown from yours truly thanks#honestly though how many times have I said something and was totally misunderstood#bexause I genuinely didn’t understand what that felt like#like Omgosh#anyway it’s fine I’m fine I’m just INCREDIBLY ACE THATS ALL#WHEN I SAY I AM LOOKING RESPECTFULLY I ACTUALLY AND HONESTLY MEAN IT#THATS ALL FJEBDISHDKDBDNS#ace stuff#asexuality#how did I genuinely not know I didn’t feel this until I was like 35#no idea#like I knew I was ace but… anyway#ANYWAY ITS FINE lmao
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People around me seem to think I've got it made right now because I hang around the house all the time and am doing well financially for the first time in my life but don't really seem to get that in exchange for my financial stability I don't have a car or my own place to live or a reliable way to meet friends because I can't have them over or the freedom to buy things that will improve my quality of life because I don't have space to store them I'm treated like an unwanted houseguest by my family and am not at liberty to criticize anyone because I'm only financially stable so long as I don't have to pay rent or utilities
#the amount of money i have in the bank is nice to have except i have to pretend it doesnt exist because i need to use it to buy a car asap#but i cant do that until i learn how to drive which is being stalled to hell by having to inconvenience family members that dont want to#leave the house unless they already needed to go somewhere#everhthing is a service that i should be grateful no matter how reluctantly its given#and i just#im fine until im not and i realize that my life is empty and nobody really truly wants me around here#and i dont know what to do
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staring at some old posts like 'i have regrets'.
#venting in the tags below#its nothing about anyone specifically just as a general fandom view#of one specific fandom that we wont tag#just left that little buffer right there so if you dont want to read you dont have to. there is a lighter note at the end.#but that fandom just... sucks overall. dont get me wrong! we loved it as a kid#but its just... the same issues different characters. a divide amongst everyone.#and nothing can really be done about it because its just.. there.#you cant stop it.#no matter what: what you do is wrong.#weve tried in that fandom for years. literal years.#and its always been an outcasting feeling.#at first: we were too mature. then: too old. now: just plan old fucked and wanting to stay away from certain characters#'so you hate them?' no. they hurt and bring up bad memories.#'so youre not supportive?' i am supportive. its completely fine for me to say its not my cup of tea. because its not my cup of tea.#its... a shame really. but im glad that the bodys mom is able to see us smile again from a new place. much more accepting and comfortable.#its nice. it really is. i feel welcomed and like i belong around here.#i dont feel shamed for being sourced from the fandom im in#it feels.... nice. it feels like home. like this is where we were meant to be.#thank you. im glad we came back to tumblr. im glad that were still here. im glad that -despite everything- were still fighting the world#we may even have a better job opportunity than ever before! finally getting some sort of sleep at night. finally feel.. just safe overall.#safe on tumblr that is#i know we wont truly ever be safe. but one step at a time. one step at a time.#the fire fighter
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Me: I should probably clean my room, unpack, find my laptop and finish the work tasks that were due yesterday
Also me: I think I'm going to hot glue flowers, vines, and ribbons to a basket instead :)
#no my room is so bad it even hurts my chronically messy soul#i moved back in with my parents in May and im terrible at unpacking#so everything is just strewn about because i just pulled shit out of boxes when i needed them and never put them anywhere productive#and i just got back from my summer camp job. i still need to digitize my inventory and write my closing report#it was supposed to be done before i left camp but i convinced them to let me do it by monday#today is tuesday#part of the reason i havent done it is because my laptop is lost in this mess#last thing im procrastinating is ren faire prep#truly its not much prep just adding vines and flowers to a basket and needing to try on my whole outfit#and practice my makeup and hair#makeup will be light bcuz i dont know how to do makeup#so im just doing some lipstick and glittery highlight#and i need to figure out what to do with my hair. i have a tiara that i might see about fastening into the braids#or i may braid ribbons into my hair. gotta test to see whoch one i like better#i am so fucking excited for ren faire bcuz im going with my gf and some of her friends#im so excited to meet her friends and spend time with her outside of the summer camp we worked at together#AND im going to do her hair and she asked me to braid ribbons into her hair so im so excited#i just need to practice some braids to figure out how i want to do her hair and practice braiding in ribbons#i fucking love doing hair and i cant wait to do hers. ive done single strand braods for her before BUT#she has long beautiful hair and ive been wanting to try more braids on her and i think i have an idea of what i want to do#but instead of doing anything productive. i am sitting in bed. doing nothing#(spoiler alert its because every time i leave camp i get treated to a terrible depressive episode)#(its because i lose the routine and sunshine and exercise and social aspect of camp probably)#(now worsened by the terrible state of my room and the passing of one of my rats while i was at camp that i just learned about)#anyway im doing fine. gonna go do something now ig
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Its funny cuz i love seeing spike with dru and buffy but seeing him with harmony made me wanna set myself on fire
#also brought up 'oh my god what if im just another h.armony' insecurities but its fine im fine and i know thats not true#normally i dont like canon ships with my f/os but spikes an exception#bc he is fueled by love he is ruled by it. as he said hes loves bitch#so i like seeing the way he is with people he truly does love#i dont expect myself to be his one and only. but id like to be the Last person he falls for#i want to be his endgame
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(credits to ssruis)
This song is the only thing keeping me going I do not play about mr showtime 😞 nothing ruined me (made my life better) the way this song did
(Sendn. Me songs to do this with in my ask box… sniffle…)
#circuses? heh.. yeah.. im familiar… jesters? oh#even better…. rellakinoko? now hold on this is already gonna be good… tsukasa tenma? im sold. the fish has been captured. im followinf the#sirens into the deepest parts of the sea and wont be coming back. Unfortunately i had gotten t1k (t571) on ensekai for phoenix and am still#bitter about it. Emu and nene came home but the ugly blonde didnt. This is why we’re having problems tsukasa#i have a mr showtime themed custom profile that needs to be finished aand i gotta work on my one for#tsukasa4#ill be more prepared for that one im certain of it#knocking on wood#PRAYING.#t500 would have been nice you know… unfortunately i ran out of resources.#i think the amount of time and love ive poured into making everything abt this event makes up for this though. Also this is gonna sound#obnoxious but i feel like one of the five people who actually. You know. Get the event. Like its importance which ill elaborate on in a#future post. Everybody wants to talk about this event but nobody wants to read the story#and the side stories Guysss ur missing out its so good when youre not forcing urself to think tsukasa has an ed and dont even know a single#thing abt acting yet believe one google search can prove that method acting is Absolutely Totally Going To Ruin His Life#i dont think fasting was alright it was pretty stupid but what he did doesnt make him have an ed or this or that#I do think you should be very. Very careful with method acting by the way. That can mess you up. But i dont think thats where theyll be#taking tsukasa in the future. Yes itd be nice to show the risks and get a You know be careful but its not as dark and This is gonna ruin hi#😞😨My poor baby!! As people think#omg i got sidetracked LET ME TALK ABT THE BINGO???1?1? Easily distracted ass#Uhm. Where do i begin. Nvm i dont wanna write too much more but this song truly does mean the world to me#And rella’s art is so goood my eyes are always glued to it. For some reason i keep having trouble fcing the expert chart for it on ensekai#ut was just fine on jpsekai. Frowny face. I could listen to the song all day though#Those instrumentals are popping offff i tell you#hidden circus#wonderlands x showtime#wxs#wansho#commissioned song#prsk
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UM, ASTER/YAKUMO I ONLY *JUST* FOUND? HELLO?
I've never felt so seen. So represented. Thank u aster. Here are some of my fave lines
#after reading this i had to consult The Chart to see if it lined up with the fic and#well. yeah. guess it did 😂😂😂😂#narration in aster's voice is so wonderfully comedic and snarky i loved every second of it. u manipulative gremlin#WHY IS YAKUMO SO CUTE HE SHOULDnT BE CUTE BUT I WANTNA *knuckles turning white from my trembling iron fist*#what was that picture of yakumo with the comment like [boys with big brown eyes like a baby cow stfu]#yeah that thing. that image was pulsing throughout the fic. intrusive adoring thought#aster sees yakumo's big soulful innocent eyes looking up at him and he's all#i need to slaughter him. i need to pound him into cutlets and distribute him to the masses for insane profit#ah..... is this cuteness aggression...#I NEED TO BULLY HIM. HE IS TRYNIG SO HARD TO BE GOOD I NEED TO#hyperventilates into my pizza box#sipping tea and reading while occasionally yelling out#SO true bestie [aster]. (melodramatic sigh)#idk why it's funny that yakumo squeaks in fic. it is SO FUNNY. hey look it's a squeaky mouse#wait he's a snake? are u sure? dont snake eat mice?...........ARE U SURE HE ISN'T A TINY minuscule RODENT LIVING INSIDE A DAISY? NO???#BIG DANGEROUS BLACK SHADOWY VENOMOUS SNAKE? ok..............sounds fake..........but if u say so........................#i'm fine. i'm not still having a Time of accepting mr serpent into my life. what are u talking about. i am fine.#i am reading words and acting in ways#hahahaaha! how can you awaken something when i already know it's awake??!!#(spoiler alert: i was not truly aware of its awakeness but i've been thinking of this fic for days so i'm pretty sure the awakening is NOW)#(insert pillar men theme) (sighs wearily at my own clownery)
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I luckily haven't been subjected to this brand of fan with my own eyes in a while, but it's hilarious to me how many IDW Megatron fans there are that hate the shit out of IDW Optimus (or any Megatron/Optimus in general) especially when they themselves are MegOP shippers. Like they'll be like "errrrmmmm Optimus is a cop fuck him he's literally evil" babe your fave is a literal dictator and a colonizer who didn't even treat his own Decepticons respectfully but IDW OP being a cop is so unforgivable? Or are we selectively applying the standard of "this is bad IRL therefore any fictional character who is X is also bad"? Megatron said he was sorry and regrets what he did but I guess you didn't read the parts where Optimus was also sorry/had regrets for what he did so that means it doesn't exist?
That or they do some crazy ass mental gymnastics to be all like "oh uh ermmm Optimus is evil because he said something mean to someone and punched them [casually fails to mention or explain the context at all]" but then with Megatron they'll turn around and be like "here's how Megatron colonizing planets was actually just him doing what needed to be done to ensure the survival of his race, also when Megatron becomes an Autobot here's how the people on the Lost Light are actually oppressing him for telling him to stop being a fucking asshole" [paraphrased versions of takes I have seen with my literal own eyes]. Like idk I feel like it's only-reads-MTMTE syndrome striking again or something? People probably don't read enough about Optimus to know the context of what he did AND they're laboring under the MTMTE illusion that Megatron was only kind of a bastard but was really good at heart, so in combination they just decide to be absolutely unhinged and say shit that isn't remotely true? Idk
Like damn you people are weak and your takes are trash. If you're gonna defend or hate a character at least do so based on accurate information from canon instead of making up weak bullshit on how Optimus sneezing on someone by accident makes the Autobots evil incarnate and how Megatron doing unspeakable crimes was just a little oopsie/him doing what had to be done. Couldn't be me.
#squiggposting#negativity#i'm aware that i'm being an asshole but ive also had this conversation many times in private#with people pointing out this shit still happens lmao#like if youre normal about the fictional war criminals even if you dislike OP that's fine#this post is about people who. dont know what theyre talking about and make unfortunate justificstions#for their shitty opinions#i guess if this offends them i dont want them on my blog anyways lol#some ppl are just like truly unable to cope with the fact that they like an evil asshole#and they have to be like HERES HOW MY EVIL ASSHOLE WAS ACTUALLY THE GOOD GUY THE NARRATIVE TRIED TO SLANDER#if any other character is complex or morally gray or an asshole its fine#but everything bad about your precious megsy is wrong#and everything thats even a pinch of OP's fault makes him scum of the earth#again i see this even with ppl who ship MOP and i'm like. why are you even here#you hate OP so bad and think hes an idiot and want him to grovel for M's forgiveness#why do you even ship MOP. that's not MOP that's just you using#OP as an accessory who you barely care about to ship with your actual fave M
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